Q & A: Help with My Brother?

Q: I have a personal question to ask about my brother. Your story of your brother kind of taught me, because I am sort of in the same situation.

My younger brother is acting up. He used to be this passionate kid. He worked harder than hard working. He would always be in competition with me. If I got an B in a class he had to get an A. He used to cry at the sight of even having less than an A-.

Now-a-days as he is in high school I have no idea where his motivation went. He is doing horrible in school. He is basically failing every class and does not care. He is also behaving bad too, from talking back to my mother to stealing the cars at my house for a joy ride. He is only 16 years old. I tried talking to him, but all he does is shake me off.

I do not know what to do. Do you have any input?

—Gabriel S.

Q & A: How Do You Forgive?

Q: hi! Mr. Duncan, I think I’m at the right place at the right time. I told myself that I will learn how to forgive myself and other people and live in peace with them. But it is so hard and I don’t know what to do anymore. —Doreen, South Africa

Q&A: Your Amazing Words of Truth

Q: Hey Mr. Duncan, I was recently at two of your motivational speakings and I didn’t feel comfortable asking my question aloud. So here it is:

You got my attention when you spoke about what you’ve been through. I’ve also been through a lot, one exactly like you. And I’ve never told anyone about it, not even my mother.

I am an A+ student but I feel so much pressure to be better than average from others. I get up and down, my grades slip but I always manage to pull off a good grade. I plan on attending college and I know that I won’t always be able to pull off this stunt in college. I have dreams and the people who pressure me the most always throw me down by telling me I can’t or you think so… I explain everything, but I really need some of your amazing words of truth.

—Michelle J., Alpha School

Q & A: Context is Everything Part 2

[Q & A from Facebook based on Duncan Nugget #39: Context is Everything]

Q: [ Adam Fletcher Sasse] Sometimes we need the context to change though Al. What do we do when the context doesn’t change as fast as we need it to?!?

Adam, good question! The answer is simple (but far from easy):

You have to make an accurate, honest assessment of what is and is not under your control. Focus on the aspect of the context you can control and work on that. Most people spend too much time focused on what they can’t control.

Sometimes we do need (want) the context to change (like the economy). We don’t have complete control over that, but we do have complete control over our spending habits. We do have complete control over attitude and effort.

Gandhi, MLK, Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, Frederick Douglas, and any other great person in history faced contexts that weren’t changing fast enough. But they honed in on what they could do. They did that with an unstoppable attitude, courage, and sustained, maximum effort.

Eventually the context changed.

______________________

Got a question? Use this form to ask Al.

Q & A: Get a Degree in Motivational Speaking?

Q: What kind of college courses would I take my freshman year of college in order to become a successful motivational speaker like you? -student, Georgia State University

Q & A: Can you help me find my brand?

I spoke to you at the assembly here at Claflin University, and I asked you some things, but was afraid to ask the rest out loud, my question is I am applying for the Honors College and I need a brand statement in order to get in, just in case I get interviewed.

My skills that I have obtained so far are communications skills, I have interpersonal skills but, that’s too few to name can you help me find my brand? To get in I have to demonstrate ongoing leadership skills, be academically successful, and develop service for the community.

–college freshman, Claflin University

Real Estate Q & A: Invest in Real Estate?

Q: What’s up Al? I need some advice… I’m livin here at school and I just recently rented a house… my old land lord currently wants to sell my old house for about 78k. I was thinking if I bought the house then rented it out it would be a way to get a income… what do u think? –(Russell H., college student)