[VIDEO] Duncan Nugget® #42: The Coffee Bean

If people experience the exact same thing, why do they have different versions of reality?

I’ll show you.

Initially, a coffee bean is green. Once harvested and roasted, it turns brown.

Next, someone grinds up some beans, puts the coffee grounds in a filter, runs hot water over them, and voila!—countless variations of coffee—cappucino, frappacino, black, or whatever—a perfect cup of coffee for whomever is drinking it.

Can anyone re-create the original coffee bean?

Of course not! Communication and reality work the same way.

You process reality through filters like your beliefs, values, and moods. You distort, delete, and generalize information to create the perfect cup of reality for you. Think about that.

Exceptional communicators learn to understand the filters that people use.

Million-Dollar Question:
When it comes to communication, can you take a coffee bean and make the perfect cup of coffee for you AND for others?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Think about a time when you and someone experience the same thing, but both of you felt differently about what happened? Describe the situation. What factors—such as personality, experience, culture, emotions, etc.—caused you to see things differently?

2. Have you ever said something to someone that he or she took the wrong way? What happened? What factors caused the misunderstanding? What, if anything, will you do differently in the future?

3. What are 3 questions you can ask someone to make sure that you understand exactly what he or she is saying? Do you actually use these questions when you are communicating with people? If yes, provide an example.  If not, how will you remember to use them in the future?

[VIDEO] How To Start Your Talk Or Speech

This is a video from my former site for professional speakers, but there are great tips in here for anybody that has to give a speech, talk, or presentation of any type.

[VIDEO] Duncan Nugget® #245: Single Point Of Focus

“Here’s a question for you… What did you do when you hit that point where you knew you were doing things to make a difference but, it just didn’t seem like it was enough? What kept you motivated and focused so that you weren’t thinning yourself out trying to be apart of to many causes?”

Two things:

1. Great leaders are seldom, if ever, satisfied. They are always tweaking things to become more efficient, effective, and productive. They are always striving to do better. They always feel as if there is more to be done. More progress to be made. So, if you feel like that…congratulations.

2.

Duncan Nugget #245:
Focus is difficult to achieve because it requires sacrifice. It requires you to give something up in order to accomplish more.

One day it finally dawned on me that most successful people and great leaders have a single point of focus—one main thing that they are obsessed with getting done. They may be busy doing other things and have other interests, but they are still honed in on that single point of focus. Ultimately, they refuse to allow anything to get in the way.

Million-Dollar Question:[break]What’s your single point of focus?

_____________

[I was asked this question via the National Society of Leadership and Success Facebook page.]

[VIDEO] Duncan Nugget® #214: Potential and Performance

How much is your potential worth?

Nothing. Unless…

…you combine it with exceptional performance.

You might get praised for your potential, but you only get paid for your performance.

You might get noticed because of your potential, but you are remembered for your performance. Whether it is pitiful or exceptional.

Million-Dollar Question:
How much is your performance worth?

[ACTIVITY] Introduce Yourself The Easy Way: Your Personal Brand Statement

“So, tell me a little bit about yourself. What do you do?”

Have you ever had to respond to a statement or question like that? I’ve asked thousands of young people that question and the typical response I get starts off like this:

“Uhhhh…well…I uhhh…”

Not cool.

In interviews and networking situations, you will be expected to respond to questions about who you are and what you do. A personal brand statement—a brief summary about you—is a professional way to introduce yourself. If you create one and practice it, you can avoid being caught off guard.

Here are three simple steps for creating your personal brand statement:

[VIDEO] Duncan Nugget® #223: Under Your Control?

After a setback, many people spend too much time agonizing over things they have little or no control over. So, when you are preparing for your next opportunity, do a little inventory.

Identify what is and isn’t under your control.

Make a list of everything that must happen in order for your opportunity to be a successful endeavor. Next, label each item on your list as “under your control” or “not under your control.”

Now, take action on what’s under your control.

For example, being well prepared for an interview is under your control. Being the most qualified and experienced person for the job isn’t under your control. Chances are, you cannot do anything about who else is being interviewed for the position.

WARNING: Be careful of passing the buck or playing the blame game.

[VIDEO] Duncan Nugget® #53: Soft Skills Make All The Difference

Hard skills—technical skills—might get you an interview. They could land you a job. They might even get you some business.

But hard skills combined with great soft skills such as: communication skills, leadership skills, teamwork, Emotional Intelligence, self-motivation, customer service, and conflict resolution—will put you in an entirely different league.

Soft skills will get you the job and the promotion. Soft skills will get you the business and a relationship that keeps them coming back.

So, read a book, take a class (like public speaking), or join an organization. Better yet do all three.

Work on your soft skills. They make all the difference.