Q&A: Your Amazing Words of Truth

Q: Hey Mr. Duncan, I was recently at two of your motivational speakings and I didn’t feel comfortable asking my question aloud. So here it is:

You got my attention when you spoke about what you’ve been through. I’ve also been through a lot, one exactly like you. And I’ve never told anyone about it, not even my mother.

I am an A+ student but I feel so much pressure to be better than average from others. I get up and down, my grades slip but I always manage to pull off a good grade. I plan on attending college and I know that I won’t always be able to pull off this stunt in college. I have dreams and the people who pressure me the most always throw me down by telling me I can’t or you think so… I explain everything, but I really need some of your amazing words of truth.

—Michelle J., Alpha School

First of all, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. You are a very brave, strong, and absolutely amazing young lady. Many adults are unable to deal with a situation like this as well as you have. And on top of all of this you’re an A+ student? Wow!

Secondly, I’m concerned about you keeping too much hurt bottle up inside. At first I never told anyone about what happened to me either. I was too ashamed. I thought it was my fault and that I had done something wrong. Which was simply not true.

Because I was so devastated by being molested that it took me years to deal with the pain and I couldn’t do it by myself. I had to finally talk it over with Mom and Dad.

You don’t have to put your business out in the streets, but you need to talk to an adult who can help you. If not your Mom, then call The National Sexual Abuse Hotline – 1-800-656-HOPE.

If you’re still having trouble, send me an email and I’ll help you find someone who specializes in situations like yours. Also, pray. Ask for guidance and you’ll get it.

Pressure

In regards to the pressure to perform better than average, I feel you. I tend to be a bit a competitive myself, but here’s what I’ve discovered:

Duncan Nugget® #193: 
Life is not a race against other people. It’s a race against yourself. 

Think about it. You have no control over whether or not someone else is an idiot or a genius. Nor do you have control over whether or not someone gets a better grade than you do.

The only thing you have control over is working hard to become a better “you” everyday. Making sure that you learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others is one of the keys to success.

Setting your own goals and measuring yourself against your own criteria is another important key. Be your own measuring stick.

Average is a state of mind. You think above average thoughts and you do above average things. Continue in this manner and there will be nothing average about your future.

Pulling Stunts

As long as you avoid procrastination, what you’re doing is not a stunt. You are a good at making comebacks. That’s called resilience.

Everybody has good days and bad days; ups and downs are a part of life. You can handle the downs and still come out on top. That is an incredible skill to have, so be nice to yourself.

Always think things like: “I made a mistake, but I’m getting better.”

Negative People

Know your value. You remember me saying that to everybody during the assembly, don’t you? And who determines your value and what you can accomplish? YOU, right?

People almost always have something negative to say. The world is full of haters. Sometimes they are trying to destroy your dreams and believe it or not, sometimes they are trying to protect you from disappointment.

Duncan Nugget® #40: 
A person’s definition of you doesn’t define you. 

Remember that.

When a person tells you that you can’t do something, think: “Thanks for the feedback, but your opinion doesn’t define me.” Then get to work on your goals.

The bottom line is: you are way ahead of the game and well on your way to doing great things. Nobody can stop you. Period.

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