Maybe you can help me out. I have been banging my head against my desk for about 10 minutes now trying to remember the name of a movie.
It’s the one where somebody leaves the wrong voicemail on a person’s answering machine and then has to break into the house to get the voicemail before the other person hears it.
Do you remember that movie? If you do please let me know what it is. Thanks.
“Well… what happened?”
“I told him if he wanted a job, send me an email and he sent me a text disguised as an email.”
“Nooo. Really? Man… that’s messed up. I think he’s doing pretty good in school.”
“For me that’s even worse. He’s in college! I mean really, Al… does he even know what punctuation or a complete sentence is?!”
—irritated business owner talking to Al Duncan about a potential employee
The above audio is a 7min. excerpt from my MLK Keynote Address at Darton College.
I recently gave a MLK Celebration Lecture at Darton College. The overall theme for the celebration was “What are you doing for others?” My talk was focused on one of the things that enabled Dr. King to be such a powerful servant leader—his skill set. His fight for truth and justice and his selfless service have left us many priceless lessons. I believe, however, that we can also gain wisdom by exploring his skill set.
MLK had a skill set that allowed him to:
— Communicate at an exceptional level
— Build powerful relationships
— Get people to believe in his values and vision
— Deal with an unimaginable amount of pressure, stress, and adversity
— Become a master of influence
A skill set that helps a person to embody those attributes is worth of study. Based on all that he accomplished, it’s easy to see that Dr. King mastered many soft skills such as leadership, public speaking, collaboration, teamwork, and teambuilding to name a few. For right now I would like to focus on 3 of the many soft skills that MLK mastered:
- Topics: 3. BROWSE BY TOPICSAudioCommunication SkillsGrit, Perseverance, DiligenceProfessionalSoft SkillsTeenYoung Adult
If people experience the exact same thing, why do they have different versions of reality?
I’ll show you.
Initially, a coffee bean is green. Once harvested and roasted, it turns brown.
Next, someone grinds up some beans, puts the coffee grounds in a filter, runs hot water over them, and voila!—countless variations of coffee—cappucino, frappacino, black, or whatever—a perfect cup of coffee for whomever is drinking it.
Can anyone re-create the original coffee bean?
Of course not! Communication and reality work the same way.
You process reality through filters like your beliefs, values, and moods. You distort, delete, and generalize information to create the perfect cup of reality for you. Think about that.
Exceptional communicators learn to understand the filters that people use.
When it comes to communication, can you take a coffee bean and make the perfect cup of coffee for you AND for others?
1. Think about a time when you and someone experience the same thing, but both of you felt differently about what happened? Describe the situation. What factors—such as personality, experience, culture, emotions, etc.—caused you to see things differently?
2. Have you ever said something to someone that he or she took the wrong way? What happened? What factors caused the misunderstanding? What, if anything, will you do differently in the future?
3. What are 3 questions you can ask someone to make sure that you understand exactly what he or she is saying? Do you actually use these questions when you are communicating with people? If yes, provide an example. If not, how will you remember to use them in the future?
- Topics: Communication SkillsDuncan Nuggets®Personal DevelopmentProfessionalSoft SkillsTeenVideosYoung Adult
This is a video from my former site for professional speakers, but there are great tips in here for anybody that has to give a speech, talk, or presentation of any type.
As people scurry all over the place looking for a competitive advantage in a crowded market place, personal branding experts and advice have been popping up everywhere.
Deliver value. Promote your uniqueness. Be consistent and authentic. Get yourname.com. Get a blog. Develop an online presence and please don’t post anything stupid online. Do those things and you’ll be able to develop a strong personal brand.
Don’t they get on your nerves? They never listen. You try to say things in a different way. You try to explain yourself clearly. You try to have patience, but none of that seems to work because they just don’t listen.
Who are “they”?
If you’re a parent, they are you kids.
If you’re teen, they are your parents.
If you’re a student, they are your teachers and professors.
If you’re an educator, they are your students.
If you’re the boss, they are your employees.
If you’re an employee, they are your managers, supervisors, and your boss.
If you’re a woman, they are men.
If you’re a man, they are women.
If you’re smart, they are idiots.
According to those nine statements, NOBODY listens. And it’s always “their” fault. Interesting.
Do YOU really listen or are you one of “them”?
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